Go Alpha or Go Beta
by Grand Phoenix
Summary: There comes a time in every high school girl's life in which she must learn to stand up and face her fears head on, and that is the first step to becoming a woman. For Fate, this makes her task all the more important: confessing her feelings to Nanoha. Girl to girl, no beta, alpha all the way. There's no going back!


_A/N: I've been writing too much angst as of late, so let's do something completely different and rarely touched upon! (That is, for me, with this particular genre.)_

_Also, this fanfic makes this the one-hundredth story that I've done...and it's only taken me eight years to get there. I'm so slow and lazy!_

* * *

"You know what, Hayate? Screw this noise, I'm going to do it!"

"Oh you will now?" she said, clapping her hands together. "You're gonna step up and be an alpha?"

"Damn straight I'm going to be an alpha!" Fate declared, pounding her fist on the table, and pointed behind her. "I'm gonna up there and tell her! I'm gonna tell her everything, and I will have no regrets!"

"Is that so?" Hataye insisted.

"It is so!"

"Then by all means, go! Unless," and, leaning forward, a mischievous glint in her eye, "you think you're…_omega_."

Fate's nostrils flared. The hardness, the determination, in her eyes would make diamonds crumble to dust. Or even make glass itself break; her face looked like someone wanted to imitate Luigi's patented Death Stare and tried to make it too shounen.

Alisha flinched, as if the burn had physically struck her instead. "Ooh, Fate, now you've really gotta do this!"

"But in public?" said Suzuka. "In front of the whole lunchroom?"

"Fate was just called an omega! That's like being compared to the joker in a deck of cards! It's worthless, it serves no purpose, it does _nothing!_"

"I'm pretty sure jokers are a wild card, depending on the rules applied to the game."

"Screw the rules, social hierarchy is law!" Alisa whirled on Fate. "You cannot back out of this, Fate. Hell, you weren't supposed to back out after being called a _beta_. Any other derogatory nickname is fine by me, but gods above and devils below help you if you so much as _sneeze_ and walk in the opposite direction of your goal! Your destination! YOUR DESTINY!"

"Shouldn't we save this for another time?" asked Suzuka. "You know, when the day's out and they're alone? Without us peering over their shoulders?"

"None of this will matter if we leave Fate to her devices," said Hayate. "Anybody can come up with a convincing lie. All it takes are a silver tongue, bed hair, and a rumpled white polo shirt put on the wrong way and unbuttoned down to show the barest hint of size thirty-six cleavage."

"I'm afraid to ask if you just came up with that on the fly or you're being legitimately serious," said Suzuka, mind-blown.

"Suzuka, this is Hayate we're talking about," said Alisa. "She knows answers before you can even think the thought. She could outfox Chuck Norris and she wouldn't even have to try!"

"Chuck Norris is overrated," said Hayate.

"Exactly!"

"Well she's making it sound like they're gonna go all the way!" Suzuka looked at Fate. "You're not, are you? Please tell me you're not. You're still so young!"

"Suzuka, I'm fifteen. The last thing I'd want to do is cave to my hormones and ravage my crush senseless. Because that would be nonconsensual, and that's wrong."

"And you're just going to confess? That's all?"

"That's all." Fate glared at Hayate, and her nostrils flared again. Kryptonite itself would tell Superman to steer the hell away from her.

"Oh thank God!" Suzuka gasped, and all the tension melted off her body.

"So," said Hayate, "you gonna do it or not? Go alpha or go beta, baby."

"Do it, man!" Alisa told Fate. "Get it over with!"

"B-But don't feel bad if she turns you down!" Suzuka added. "There are bigger demons running amok in hell!"

"Just remember: you won't know if you'll succeed unless you try! So get off your ass and be the alpha you were meant to be!" It was Alisa's turn to slap the table, causing their trays and utensils to rattle and bounce.

"Or stay a beta," said Hayate, nonchalantly buffing her nails on her shirt. She must have felt the nuclear heat radiating from across the table, because she looked up and stopped what she was doing. "Not that that's a bad thing. It's just that…sometimes you've gotta the initiative. You know—how does that saying go again?—ah yes, 'take the bull by the horns'. You gotta grab his horns, mount him, and run him into the ground by applying extra pressure to your thighs. But…I understand if you don't feel you're up to the challenge, Fate. These things…take time. Patience. _Effort._ But most of all, it requires _self-confidence_, and if a person does not have self-confidence to do what she very well has to do, then—"

"I…am not beta," said Fate, coolly. "I…am not omega. I am going to go up to Nanoha, I am going to look straight in her eyes, and I…am going to tell her exactly how I feel. And when I tell her, Hayate, you will have to regard me as not as a beta, not as an omega, but as an _alpha_. Do I make myself clear?"

Hayate snorted. "I can hear you, but I don't see you backing that up."

Fate stared at her, expression blank. Then she shot up and slammed her hands again on the table. "Watch me," she declared, and turned briskly on her heel.

Their reactions were instantaneous. "FIGHT, FATE, FIGHT!" said Suzuka.

"EMBRACE YOUR INNER DEMON!" said Alisa.

"If you go beta, I'm telling everyone you're a turkey sympathizer!" said Hayate.

"Nobody's going to get that!" Fate snapped from over her shoulder.

"I'm usually the most genre savvy of this group," said Alisa, "but I have to agree with Fate here! What's the deal with the turkeys?"

"'Tis a long and harrowing tale, one best saved by an open fire and a six pack of beer," said Hayate. "But that's nowhere near as harrowing or exciting as watching a high school girl's self-confidence buoy up and down like a roller coaster."

Fate had half a mind to forgo TSAB regulations by marching up to Hayate, activate Bardiche, and haul her through the roof and across the stratosphere; see how much she'd like being on an emotional roller coaster and not knowing what to do. Except Bardiche wasn't here, and neither was Raging Heart, both undergoing routine maintenance at their respective homes. A pity, but it was nice to daydream.

Instead she forced herself not to turn around. She twirled the watch around her wrist and popped her collar, gritting her teeth at the wolf whistle Hayate blasted her way. She didn't bother to decipher what the little instigator blared. _You can do this,_ she thought. _This is the farthest we've gone. Just. Keep. _Walking._ And don't stop!_

So she kept right on walking, putting one foot before the other. Her stomach fluttered. Her palms ached and sweat. Her tongue was a parched weight and her throat an even drier well. The intensity in her eyes was intensifying internally so intensely, that fat cat you see breathing heavily on Google Search would have dropped dead on the spot.

Vita was here today, and for unknown reason she had infiltrated school again and going incognito under a false name. She sat across from Nanoha, the drab brown jacket that was normally reserved for the autumn dress code draped over her shoulders like a burlap sack. Whatever conversation they were having ended abruptly when Vita looked past the girl's shoulder and noticed Fate, looking more and more like she was walking to her execution the closer she got.

"Oh my _God,_" Vita groaned, and slapped a hand on her face.

Nanoha paused in mid-sentence. "Eh? What's the matter?" She didn't get an answer, because as soon as the words left her she felt something grab her by the shoulders and turn her around. "Oh, hey, Fate!" She didn't notice the look of doom and the telltale cracks of sanity slippage ready to burst from the seams. Vita did, however, and she gawked at the spider web of redness around Fate's even redder eyes.

Deep within the bowels of Fate's mind, a civil war broke out among the various factions that allowed her to function as a cloned human being. The mini-Fates that controlled her brain brought out their gats and lightsabers, and the mini-Fates that operated her heart unloaded their chainswords and rocket launchers, and they fought for dominance, while the mini-Fates that manned her more…primal objectives cut through the mayhem and ransacked the offices, falling over themselves and getting cut down in the process.

Fate stopped herself just short of manifesting magic and punching little crescent holes through Nanoha's shirt with her nails. _Let go, you moron! You'll hurt her!_ and the mini-Fates in charge of her body went on the alert and released the fabric balled up in her grip. Then her mouth went on auto-pilot, full throttle to the max, and some of the mini-Fates from both sides escaped the crossfire to watch. "Hey, uh, Nanoha. L-Listen, there's s-something I gotta tell ya. This is very important, okay? I need to be serious with you for just a moment."

"Is something wrong?" Nanoha asked, and she moved to put her own hands on Fate's shoulders.

_MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!_ the mini-Fates screamed, and Fate gently grabbed them and pushed them aside. "No, nothing's wrong. I'm fine. It's just, uh, what I'm about to tell you, okay? That's what I meant."

Nanoha paused and blinked owlishly. "Oh! So, um, what's up?"

Behind her, Vita rolled her eyes and rested her cheek against an upturned fist.

Fate swallowed, and there was nothing to take but a barren wasteland. She was all too aware that, for better or worse, she was still holding Nanoha's hands. "Um, right, let's see…I thought I should let you know…that someone, somewhere, in this school, has, um…how do I put this…_admired_ you, yes, _admired you_ from afar. Right? Right."

Nanoha blushed. "M-Me?"

"Yeah. And, um, she's kinda been trying to figure out, um, how to break it to you. You have to understand, this has been going for a very, very…_very_ long time. Like, years. Specifically the informative years; p-puberty and health class, mother-daughter talks, that sort of thing, and that's a lot to take in for a growing, budding girl in her teenage years!"

"Oh, I know the feeling!"

Vita stared at the back of Nanoha's head, bored and unimpressed.

Fate nodded vigorously. "So you should know she's been doing her absolute hardest, her sincere damnedest, to approach you, and tell you, and be honest with you. Girl to girl, no beta, alpha all the way." She heard something hard and heavy fall behind her, and she imagined Alisa introducing her forehead to the table in disbelief. _I'm getting there, HOLD ON!_ "And, well, she's had a bit of a…difficult time getting it all together. Like—and you didn't hear it from me—she's kinda…maybe…making half-hearted attempts to talk to you. Her intentions are noble, though! Her intentions are noble!...but every time she sees you, every time, she just…she just loses it. The heart, I mean. Her raison d'être."

"That's not how you're supposed to use it!" Suzuka mouthed to Hayate and Alisa. Hayate shrugged as if to say _What can you do?_

Vita glared.

"She tries, though!" Fate plowed on, fighting to keep her body still and her hands from crushing the bones in Nanoha's. "You gotta give her credit, she really tries!" Then her face fell. "But…But she wants to try once, you know? Just once she wants to get it right…and not be afraid. Except that'd be ironic, wouldn't it, if she were to…confess and, um, get rejected." She tried not to look away, tried to keep her voice leveled and calm. All that self-confidence was quickly going down the proverbial drain. It was getting harder to speak, harder to think, harder to focus.

Amidst the mental chaos, her thoughts ran astray: _What am I doing this isn't going to work I can't do this she's going to say no she's going to say no and then what will I do I'm already beta I may as well go the whole mile and go omega—_

_DO YOU WANT NANOHA TO KNOW YOU'RE A TURKEY LOVER?!_ The mini-Fates railed at her. _DO YOU?!_

Her resolve hardened. The weight in her bones lifted. The filter over the world cleared. Everything was so strong and so bright it would make Luigi's Death Stare a legitimate meme, remake diamonds from dust, allow Kryptonite to severely weaken Superman, and intensely bring that obese cat back to asthmatic life.

No.

Nanoha wasn't going to know that. She never would.

That secret was going to the grave.

This, however? Even though she wanted to run, find someplace to hide, pull up a blanket and hide, Fate wasn't going to take that with her. All she had to do was say those words and wait for a reaction! That was all she needed.

And that was all her self-confidence needed to take a nosedive and crash in the most spectacular fashion possible. Fire and smoke and ashes of hopes and dreams, oh my.

_No! No! No! You've got this! You've got this! Don't be omega! DON'T. BE. OMEGA._

"Well," said Nanoha, "she won't know until she tries, right? And I won't know until I see her, yes? I mean, don't take it the wrong way, but I can't exactly _like_ someone back if I don't know her. You know, the kind of like where you'd do anything for her but at the same time have to practice restraint lest you do something you'd regret for the rest of your life. There's a difference between that like and the like that I have—the love and forgiveness towards mankind, animals, and alien species ranging from near-humanoids to beings consisting of energy left over from the Big Bang. Except turkeys." She grimaced. "They…I can't stand them. Don't ask why."

Vita's glare intensified.

"Yes, but this person likes-likes you without the unnecessary hormonal impediments! And! And! She doesn't like turkeys, either! But this isn't about turkeys. This is about a girl who can't go a day wondering if the opportunity's already passed her by. A girl, I'd like to add, who's both scared out of her wits and brave enough to step up and commit and see if the other party will reciprocate or turn her down in front of the entire school—"

"BY ALL THAT IS HOLY, STOP PUSSY-FOOTING AND TELL HER ALREADY!" Vita roared, jumping to her feet and leaving twin fist-sized dents in the table. The noise startled everyone in the area, and as if they were of one mind all of them turned and honed their attention on them.

All those eyes.

All those faces.

Sweat popped on Fate's brow. Tunnel vision took over, blocking everything out in a black shroud except for their entwined hands. Her heart rammed painfully in her chest and a train whistle screamed in her head but she didn't hear any of it.

She blinked away sweat. _Oh. Oh man._

_Ohhhhhhhh maaaaaaan._

_What do I do?_

_WHAT DO I DO?_

_WhatdoIdoWhatdoIdoWhatdoIdo—_

"Eh? Tell me what, Vita?" said Nanoha.

If Vita's hair was too bright a red, the red on her face would blind the sun itself. "You're as dense as your call sign! Fate's tryin' to tell you she—"

"I like you!" she blurted, and all the sound went out in her head, as though someone had pressed the mute button on the remote control. The civil war still raged on but the mini-Fates continued watching, urging her to _go dammit go keep going!_ "You, Nanoha! Not Hayate! Not Alisa! Not Suzuka! Not a single girl or boy in school, the neighborhood, the city, the entire galaxy! _I like you!_ Me, Fate Testarossa-Harlaown! And all I want to know, _here_ and _now_, is if _you_, Takamachi Nanoha, the biggest baddest demon on Earth and Mid-Childa, will have _me_, a lesser demon, _as your girlfriend!_"

Total silence.

Vita sat there with wide eyes ready to pop out.

Alisa was halfway on top of the table, staring with bated breath.

Suzuka had her hands over her mouth, tense with anticipation.

Hayate perked up and leaned forward, suddenly interested.

"What," Fate panted, warm and nervous and prepared to die, "what do you say?"

Nanoha was quiet, perhaps thinking her answer over. Perhaps she wasn't thinking at all and would respond automatically just like Fate's logic-deprived motor mouth. There were too many variables to consider.

Then Nanoha smiled, and said: "I like you, too, Fate!"

Glory! Jubilation! Hallelujah! Providence and circumstance were in their places, and all was right with the world, the universe, and the spaces in between! The number forty-two could go pound it!

Fate wanted to cry. She grinned, eyes shining with unshed tears. "R-Really?"

"Yeah! We've been friends for so long that I can't imagine being anything else but that!"

Her face fell. "Wh-What…?"

"I mean that we're friends already!" Nanoha reiterated. "What we have is special, you know? We've known each other for years, and we'll keep that friendship going for years to come! I wouldn't want it any other way!"

Many things happened at once:

The lunchroom reacted with a collective _"Ohhhhhhhh!" _that shook the walls, laughing and wincing and sending pitying glances at the poor girl. Vita groaned and put her head in her hands. Alisa and Suzuka collapsed, groaning, onto the table while Hayate looked on, dumbstruck.

So did Fate. It was the only thing she could do.

It was the only thing that got the mini-Fates to stop fighting. As far as they knew, there was no purpose to fight anymore. There would be no alpha, no beta, not even omega.

But one little Fate decided she wasn't going to give up. So it was by dint that she broke the glass shielding that Big Red Button used only for EMERGENCY SITUATIONS ONLY and smashed the hell out of it until the nuke finished counting down its self-destruct sequence.

For all but a second, Fate saw only white.

When that second was up, all emotion and rationale was blown away. Sound returned in a magnificent display of blood pumping, heart racing _rage_.

The inarticulate scream that ripped through her scared out of everyone an accumulative of one hundred and some odd years, but none more so than Nanoha; her expression was one of alarm, fear, and confusion.

It turned into shock when Fate yanked her forward and crushed their lips together.

Oh.

_Oh._ This was nice.

This was warm, and light, and close. Too close; their bodies were literally touching, but that siren song was drowned out by the roar of blood rushing to her head, into her hands, flooding her with renewed life. She could climb to the top of the world and again with the very same mountain on her back and she would still feel free and unburdened.

The mini-Fates that weren't obliterated in the nuclear fallout picked themselves up, called a hasty truce, and hurried back to their stations. She pulled back and held Nanoha at arm's length, staring at her through a canvas of blond locks.

The sound in the lunchroom was deafening. People were cheering, whistling, whooping it up, and lost somewhere in the cacophony there were screams of _"DAMMMMIIIIIT!"_ and _"FUUUUUUUUU—!"_ as yen and personal belongings exchanged hands and the hopes and dreams between genders were ruthlessly crushed. So sayeth the law of social hierarchy.

Nanoha stared at Fate, mouth agape and at a loss for words. She looked at Vita, who stared back at her with a look that insinuated it was about damn time one of them did _something_, then again at Fate. "…Wh-What…How the…What…?"

Fate licked her too dry lips with an equally too dry tongue, which in itself didn't accomplish much at all. "I…I just thought I'd let you know, is all," she stammered. By Mid, was she blushing? Either she was blushing or the mini-Fates decided this was too much and she was beginning to spontaneously combust. "We can, um…we can talk later, after school. Alone. N-N-Not that kind of alone!" she added hurriedly, and goodness, if she thought her blushing was bad the redness on Nanoha's cheeks was akin to a star going supernova. "Is…Is that alright?"

Nanoha nodded meekly. "Y-Yeah…." She stepped back and collapsed onto the bench.

Fate drew herself up to her full height, tall and straight and proud. "Okay….Okay. I'll see you then." She walked back to the table, the spring in her steps lighter, her posture more sure.

So, this was what it meant to be Alpha.

She didn't deign to sit when she returned. Alisa and Suzuka and Hayate regarded her with varying degrees of pride, amusement, and the wisdom that finally, finally, after six years, the littlest beta among their group was on the fast track to becoming a woman. It was both sad and beautiful.

Suzuka sniffed, smiling. "You've come back to us, Fate. You look…different."

"So she should!" said Alisa. "She has done what all true ladies of the world and beyond must strive for!" She nodded once. "You did good, kid! Damn good!"

Fate colored. "Th-Thank you."

Hayate beamed like she had a mirror lodged between her teeth. "What'd I tell ya, Fate? You had this from the very beginning! It went all according to plan!"

Fate glared at her. "You did not."

"No, no, I'm serious! I knew you had it in you. You just needed a little push from your friends! Why, if it hadn't been for us you'd still be a beta!"

"Oh shut up."

"Now that's no way to celebrate! Let's commemorate this historic moment with a brofist!" Hayate stretched her arm and showed her knuckles. Fate stared blankly at it. "Come on!" Hayate repeated, giving her fist a little shake. "Brofist!"

So Fate relented, in the form of a magically enhanced brofist that put a crater in the floor and sent violent shockwaves up Hayate's arm. The impact rocked the building with a low, ominous boom. The table shook and groaned, eliciting frightened squawks from Alisa and Suzuka.

Hayate's mouth opened in a tiny, high-pitched squeak. She fell sidelong across the surface and clutched the throbbing limb with her free hand.

Fate retracted her own fist, shaking off residual flecks of gold mana. She grabbed her tray, deposited it on top of the garbage bin, and graced them with a ghost of a smirk. "I didn't even use an iota of my magic, Hayate. Come on, up and at 'em…unless," she slapped her hands on the table and leaned forward, right into Hayate's face, grinning madly, "you think you're _beta_."


End file.
